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You searched for quotes about Marriage

199 results found

  •  
    Mignon McLaughlin

    If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.

  •  
    Henny Youngman

    She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

  •  
    John Gay

    The comfortable estate of widowhood is the only hope that keeps up a wife's spirits.

  •  
    Michael Bergin

    I wanted to marry a girl just like my mom.

  •  
    Anna Quindlen

    Women who marry early are often overly enamored of the kind of man who looks great in wedding pictures and passes the maid of honor his telephone number.

  •  
    Sydney Smith

    Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.

  •  
    Helen Reddy

    In the '50s, a lot of girls never saw beyond the wedding day.

  •  
    H. L. Mencken

    Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

  •  
    Ellen Key

    Love is moral even without legal marriage, but marriage is immoral without love.

  •  
    Marie Osmond

    When you have a baby, love is automatic, when you get married, love is earned.

  •  
    Zsa Zsa Gabor

    Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

  •  
    Ambrose Bierce

    Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

  •  
    Paul Sweeney

    A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.

  •  
    Enid Bagnold

    In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring.

  •  
    Ambrose Bierce

    Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

  •  
    Melissa Bean

    Married couples who work together to build and maintain a business assume broad responsibilities. Not only is their work important to our local and national economies, but their success is central to the well-being of their families.

  •  
    George Ade

    If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.

  •  
    Samuel Pepys

    Saw a wedding in the church. It was strange to see what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition.

  •  
    Marilyn Monroe

    Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

  •  
    Jean Kerr

    Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

  •  
    Colin Chapman

    The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much.

  •  
    Jean-Jacques Rousseau

    Plant and your spouse plants with you; weed and you weed alone.

  •  
    P. J. O'Rourke

    Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.

  •  
    A. P. Herbert

    The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.

  •  
    Edwin Louis Cole

    Marriage may be the closest thing to Heaven or Hell any of us will know on this earth.

  •  
    Barbara Bush

    I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up.

  •  
    Robert Frost

    It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

  •  
    Vera Wang

    When I design a wedding dress with a bustle, it has to be one the bride can dance in. I love the idea that something is practical and still looks great.

  •  
    Charles Caleb Colton

    Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.

  •  
    Robert Burton

    One was never married, and that's his hell; another is, and that's his plague.

  •  
    Herbert Spencer

    Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage".

  •  
    Nancy Astor

    I married beneath me, all women do.

  •  
    Anne Morrow Lindbergh

    When the wedding march sounds the resolute approach, the clock no longer ticks, it tolls the hour. The figures in the aisle are no longer individuals, they symbolize the human race.

  •  
    Yoko Ono

    Marriage is a gamble, let's be honest.

  •  
    Euripides

    It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.

  •  
    Helen Rowland

    A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

  •  
    Helen Rowland

    A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

  •  
    Trisha Goddard

    It was only literally hours after the wedding when he felt he didn't have to keep up the facade.

  •  
    Brendan Behan

    The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

  •  
    Star Jones

    I want the big drama. I always said I don't want a wedding I want a parade.

  •  
    Finley Peter Dunne

    The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

  •  
    Cindy Margolis

    I really did put up all my wedding pictures on my website. And I swear to you, my wedding pictures got downloaded just as much as my bikini pictures.

  •  
    Woody Allen

    Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

  •  
    Abraham Lincoln

    Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.

  •  
    Heraclitus

    The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it - and sometimes three.

  •  
    Patrice Leconte

    Married people from my generation are like an endangered species!

  •  
    Doug Larson

    More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

  •  
    Thomas Chatterton

    There is a time for all things - except marriage, my dear.

  •  
    Barbara de Angelis

    The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again - and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.

  •  
    William Feather

    An invitation to a wedding invokes more trouble than a summons to a police court.

  •  
    Grace Hansen

    A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.

  •  
    George Santayana

    It takes patience to appreciate domestic bliss; volatile spirits prefer unhappiness.

  •  
    Rob Mariano

    The one thing that I'm in charge of in this wedding is the food.

  •  
    Bess Truman

    You may invite the entire 35th Division to your wedding if you want to. I guess it's going to be yours as well as mine. We might as well have the church full while we are at it.

  •  
    Peter De Vries

    The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

  •  
    Michel de Montaigne

    If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.

  •  
    Honore de Balzac

    One should believe in marriage as in the immortality of the soul.

  •  
    Eddie Cantor

    Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn't even have when you were on your own.

  •  
    Eddie Cantor

    A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.

  •  
    Groucho Marx

    In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

  •  
    Bette Davis

    I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year.

  •  
    Friedrich Schiller

    A gloomy guest fits not a wedding feast.

  •  
    Reese Witherspoon

    I think women are natural caretakers. They take care of everybody. They take care of their husbands and their kids and their dogs, and don't spend a lot of time just getting back and taking time out.

  •  
    Joey Adams

    A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

  •  
    Linda Fiorentino

    Marriage is a financial contract; I have enough contracts already.

  •  
    Honore de Balzac

    A young bride is like a plucked flower; but a guilty wife is like a flower that had been walked over.

  •  
    Zsa Zsa Gabor

    A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

  •  
    Socrates

    My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

  •  
    Alan King

    If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

  •  
    Mignon McLaughlin

    A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

  •  
    Honore de Balzac

    The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

  •  
    Martin Luther

    Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.

  •  
    Helen Rowland

    It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

  •  
    Moliere

    Love is often the fruit of marriage.

  •  
    Elbert Hubbard

    Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.

  •  
    King Edward VIII

    Of course, I do have a slight advantage over the rest of you. It helps in a pinch to be able to remind your bride that you gave up a throne for her.

  •  
    Peter De Vries

    The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.

  •  
    John Steinbeck

    A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.

  •  
    Rodney Dangerfield

    It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

  •  
    Barbra Streisand

    Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?

  •  
    Stephen Leacock

    Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

  •  
    Judith Viorst

    One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.

  •  
    Lord Byron

    I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.

  •  
    Elvis Presley

    When I get married, it'll be no secret.

  •  
    Sacha Guitry

    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

  •  
    H. L. Mencken

    Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

  •  
    Michael J. Fox

    In my 50s I'll be dancing at my children's weddings.

  •  
    Alan King

    Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

  •  
    Vera Wang

    When I decided to get married at 40, I couldn't find a dress with the modernity or sophistication I wanted. That's when I saw the opportunity for a wedding gown business.

  •  
    A. P. Herbert

    The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.

  •  
    Nick Cave

    Getting married, for me, was the best thing I ever did. I was suddenly beset with an immense sense of release, that we have something more important than our separate selves, and that is the marriage. There's immense happiness that can come from working towards that.

  •  
    Josh Billings

    Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

  •  
    Thornton Wilder

    Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

  •  
    Mae West

    He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

  •  
    E. W. Howe

    Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.

  •  
    Frank Carson

    I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

  •  
    W. Somerset Maugham

    A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

  •  
    Jeremy Taylor

    He that loves not his wife and children feeds a lioness at home, and broods a nest of sorrows.

  •  
    Red Skelton

    All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

  •  
    Helen Rowland

    Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

  •  
    Ogden Nash

    Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

  •  
    Rita Rudner

    I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  •  
    Groucho Marx

    I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

  •  
    Oscar Wilde

    There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.

  •  
    James C. Dobson

    Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.

  •  
    Adam Sandler

    I sang a song at my sister's wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right.

  •  
    Groucho Marx

    Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

  •  
    Mary Oliver

    When it's over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

  •  
    Katharine Hepburn

    If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.

  •  
    Henny Youngman

    The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

  •  
    James H. Boren

    A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

  •  
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.

  •  
    Charles Simmons

    A person's character is but half formed till after wedlock.

  •  
    Mary Astell

    But, alas! what poor Woman is ever taught that she should have a higher Design than to get her a Husband?

  •  
    Paris Hilton

    I'd imagine my wedding as a fairy tale... huge, beautiful and white.

  •  
    Lyndon B. Johnson

    I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

  •  
    H. L. Mencken

    Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

  •  
    Erma Bombeck

    For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.

  •  
    George Jessel

    Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

  •  
    Samuel Johnson

    Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

  •  
    Rita Rudner

    Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

  •  
    Lewis Grizzard

    Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

  •  
    Alphonse Karr

    Love in marriage should be the accomplishment of a beautiful dream, and not, as it too often is, the end.

  •  
    St. Jerome

    Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night.

  •  
    Oliver Wendell Holmes

    Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.

  •  
    Jean Rostand

    Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.

  •  
    Jane Harrison

    Marriage, for a woman at least, hampers the two things that made life to me glorious - friendship and learning.

  •  
    Gary Becker

    Why in almost all societies have married women specialized in bearing and rearing children and in certain agricultural activities, whereas married men have done most of the fighting and market work?

  •  
    Helen Hunt Jackson

    O month when they who love must love and wed.

  •  
    Gwen Stefani

    I remember when I was in school, they would ask, 'What are you going to be when you grow up?' and then you'd have to draw a picture of it. I drew a picture of myself as a bride.

  •  
    John Boehner

    Protecting the institution of marriage safeguards, I believe, the American family.

  •  
    Lord Byron

    I am about to be married, and am of course in all the misery of a man in pursuit of happiness.

  •  
    Cyril Connolly

    The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife.

  •  
    Jean Giraudoux

    Faithful women are all alike, they think only of their fidelity, never of their husbands.

  •  
    Martin Luther

    There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.

  •  
    Henry Ward Beecher

    Well married a person has wings, poorly married shackles.

  •  
    Prince Philip

    When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

  •  
    Henny Youngman

    Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

  •  
    Eydie Gorme

    When he came back from downtown, he had forgotten to bring his license, his identification, the $2 for the wedding license. So we got married two days later.

  •  
    Loretta Lynn

    Daddy was real gentle with kids. That's why I expected so much out of marriage, figuring that all men should be steady and pleasant.

  •  
    Franz Schubert

    Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.

  •  
    James Beattie

    No jealousy their dawn of love overcast, nor blasted were their wedded days with strife; each season looked delightful as it past, to the fond husband and the faithful wife.

  •  
    Barbara Mandrell

    By our Heavenly Father and only because of God, only because of God. We're like other couples. We do not get along perfectly; we do not go without arguments and, as I call them, fights, and heartache and pain and hurting each other. But a marriage is three of us.

  •  
    Audrey Hepburn

    If I get married, I want to be very married.

  •  
    Beverley Nichols

    Marriage - a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.

  •  
    Homer

    There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.

  •  
    Hesiod

    Whoever, fleeing marriage and the sorrows that women cause, does not wish to wed comes to a deadly old age.

  •  
    Oliver Goldsmith

    I chose my wife, as she did her wedding gown, for qualities that would wear well.

  •  
    Piper Laurie

    I'm one of those people who has always been a bridesmaid.

  •  
    Robert Graves

    Marriage, like money, is still with us; and, like money, progressively devalued.

  •  
    Sacha Guitry

    An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.

  •  
    Benjamin Franklin

    Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.

  •  
    Joe Murray

    Marriage should be a duet - when one sings, the other claps.

  •  
    Christopher Morley

    The trouble with wedlock is that there's not enough wed and too much lock.

  •  
    Christopher Walken

    I think that weddings have probably been crashed since the beginning of time. Cavemen crashed them. You go to meet girls. It makes sense.

  •  
    Will Cuppy

    Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home. There's always something.

  •  
    Groucho Marx

    Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

  •  
    Robert Anderson

    In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.

  •  
    Steven Curtis Chapman

    There's nothing like a good cheating song to make me want to run home to be with my wife.

  •  
    Michel de Montaigne

    Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance.

  •  
    George Bernard Shaw

    Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

  •  
    Antisthenes

    Quarrels often arise in marriages when the bridal gifts are excessive.

  •  
    Ethel Merman

    Christmas carols always brought tears to my eyes. I also cry at weddings. I should have cried at a couple of my own.

  •  
    Mae West

    Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

  •  
    Rose Kennedy

    I've had an exciting time; I married for love and got a little money along with it.

  •  
    Michel de Montaigne

    A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

  •  
    George Jessel

    The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

  •  
    Heinrich Heine

    The Wedding March always reminds me of the music played when soldiers go into battle.

  •  
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

  •  
    Don Adams

    I like getting married, but I don't like being married.

  •  
    Ruth Rendell

    I've had two proposals since I've been a widow. I am a wonderful catch, you know. I have a lot of money.

  •  
    Katharine Hepburn

    Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

  •  
    Sophia Bush

    Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person.

  •  
    Helen Rowland

    In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.

  •  
    Andre Maurois

    A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.

  •  
    Isadora Duncan

    Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.

  •  
    Sydney J. Harris

    Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.

  •  
    James M. Barrie

    That is ever the way. 'Tis all jealousy to the bride and good wishes to the corpse.

  •  
    Ambrose Bierce

    Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

  •  
    Johnny Carson

    Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

  •  
    Jack Kingston

    Marriage is an institution fits in perfect harmony with the laws of nature; whereas systems of slavery and segregation were designed to brutally oppress people and thereby violated the laws of nature.

  •  
    Emma Goldman

    On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable.

  •  
    Raymond Hull

    All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.

  •  
    Gilbert K. Chesterton

    Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

  •  
    Oscar Wilde

    How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

  •  
    Joseph Joubert

    Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman.

  •  
    Billy Connolly

    Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

  •  
    Paul Hornung

    Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night.

  •  
    Nicholas Sparks

    The first thing I did when I sold my book was buy a new wedding ring for my wife and asked her to marry me all over again.

  •  
    Rita Rudner

    My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

  •  
    Honore de Balzac

    No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.

  •  
    Benjamin Disraeli

    It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.

  •  
    Frances Conroy

    Marriage is an exercise in torture.

  •  
    Abigail Adams

    Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could.

  •  
    Mike Epps

    I don't know nothing about no marriages or nothing. I ain't even never been to a wedding.

  •  
    Helen Gahagan

    When a marriage works, nothing on earth can take its place.

  •  
    Alexander Pope

    They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.

  •  
    Claire Forlani

    There's a higher form of happiness in commitment. I'm counting on it.

  •  
    Benjamin Disraeli

    No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.

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